Who is this awakened without a mirror to reflect,

without a voice to speak to hear the category I fall under?

Am I ancient or contemporary?

Am I the moon? The sand? The Sun? The Ocean?

Energy I exude, otherwise how could I have projected this illusion?

Are the lenses to your soul optical?

Are you my mirror to reflect?

Are you really here with me?

When is the end of this dream?

Hopefully never. There’s a beautiful ending.

Deaf ears are misdirected to the individual that hears their own songs, but every now and then there are certain & specific melodies that seep through. Like when we were kids and snuck in & out of the house when our parents were sleeping. We started understanding the tattle-taling croak of the stairs, but through the error of the trials, these specific tones & croaks became such modest melodies to our parents in their slumber. When we step too hard or halt just short, the deaf ears suddenly hear their childhood dreams reenacted. And to fix themselves vicariously through their offspring, they suddenly hear.

So call it as you may, but I choose to tiptoe to my own music that may or may not wake you up. My intention is for attention to inhumanity and if by chance these croaking stairs tell, it is no fault but mine… I chose to sneak on out.

Lately I’ve been playing with a couple ideas, seeking economic solutions for political disagreements. I’m contemplating so much but I don’t want to start a project and not finish it. I suppose that’s why I’ve failed so much in life. I succeeded in nothing but the experience of failure. In return I had gained something very personal no soul can take from me. Napoleon Hill says “Do not wait; the time will never be ‘just right.’ Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.” So i don’t limit myself… yet somehow I always wait. I know I’m quoting an unusual amount but it helps me express my intentions. “To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.” -Lao Tzu.  I always knew the love for you guys was genuine in my heart, but to witness the love you’ve shown in return gave me the courage to live on fearlessly.

I dislike so many things about so many things, but I do love so many things about so many things more than I dislike so many things about so many things. And with so many things on my mind I must pace myself slowly to a halt and remember that without all these things, I’ll still have God & that I am alright.

To a friend by circumstance, I thank you. You are an artist never able to find perfection in words unless you are alone. At night or early in the morning no one faces that pillow but you. Why it hardens when you turn to face the day, I don’t judge. In a world where ambivalence seeks love, we are only true to the present mind yet the soul breathes no worry for it will remind our heart to risk. Our time, growth, worry, stress, love, and passion is worth more than any material possession we’ll ever own, even our pillow. RH 4/8/14

Today’s poem/blog is called, “The Right Thing To Do.” It goes like this:

I often ask myself, “What have I accomplished?” And so often more than not, my answer leaves that void associating with that empty space in my heart, in my soul. So I give what remains deep down. In thought, reflection, and prayer I wait for this void to be filled, but this image has yet to form its mold and leaves my heart cold. How could it be so cold when summer is nearly here? Maybe the summer in me is far from here. Maybe I should go grab a jacket for my snow angel watching over me. It’s the right thing to do.

Most of you will understand this in your own way. Interpret it to your desire of lack of desire. Please take this time and think of ways we all can fill this void together. Thanks for listening.

…I wrote a letter to a friend and wanted to share these words because it relates to our random acts of kindness where it’s stated, “it is of absolute necessity that people are grateful for your efforts. I am a strong believer in charitable deeds and giving freely. We don’t do this expecting anything in return but somehow it does anyway. By not letting the left hand know what the right hand is thinking, everything we seek, deep into our souls, will be found. We are all connected. By fate, religion, ‘coincidence,’ circumstance, or serendipity, we are endlessly bound. That still void of silence provokes answers that we’ve sought for so long, and that stillness was needed now more than ever. For us or for our loved ones, this space we fill needed to be filled by no one else but our character. The story will always be ours and no one else’s. Stay inspired. People of your caliber motivate me to be strong in my purpose in my life. The quote that we are merely prisoners of our own minds is rather true. And characters like you create this opportunity for others to see this as well.” written 4/4/14

I thank you all who pay it forward and give your time & effort to those in need each day. Pay attention to the blessings you receive by mere “circumstance.”

As me and my cellmate sit across from each other playing chess, he reminded me a few words I expressed with a fellow inmate regarding the strength in our struggles. And as I was pondering my next chess move, I responded instantaneously that he was the strongest person I knew. We shared a great laugh but only because that’s all there’s left to do at the end of a long day’s struggle. We go about our day so often not appreciating the blessings, but this week’s insufficient summer weather came to a halt & compelled me to re-open my study Bible. In the scriptures I was reminded of my purpose. I was reminded not to fuss or fret in this wilderness of distraction. I was reminded to give freely and extend love to those in need. I was reminded so much of my own struggles and my family’s struggles. Although now, as I’m sitting here post-chess-loss, writing my brother and sister a letter calms the day considerably because I am reminded that I am loved and that this struggle of life makes us all stronger. What’s our next opening chess move?

At the end of the road there will be a door with a lock and in our lives we are in constant search of keys. Different sizes and designs; and sometimes even colors. But only one key will open that very lock.

Please don’t let a day go by when you pass up on finding that one key, for that one opportunity to true happiness may pass forever.

Whether this key is a new acquaintance or a person you meet in the pivot of life’s adversity, being aware is the only way to understand that struggling is just another step to finding our way home.

Just because I say I don’t want to eat the last fish pack we have left doesn’t mean I don’t want it. I just prefer you have it instead of me. But to save your pride from denying such charities, I must say that I’m quite full or that I don’t like fish much. This is an action done out of selflessness; when you give without intent or holding weight over another’s heart. You cannot put down a friend, for you are equals, let alone a human. But to act such ways to a stranger, who will rise to such occasions? Who will give a needy homeless man money knowing he’s out to con? He might go buy beer, and act distastefully in public, and get locked up for disturbing the public at the mall. Which could result in him changing his life or finding a Higher Power in jail.

You see, sometimes when you give out of kindness and not let a negative thought dictate your moves with endless excuses, you just might understand that feeling that you are a part of a grander plan that is invisible to the physical eye. You might see him in a Mercedes one day and he might offer you a job much better than yours. Or you might see him in prison upstate and he might save your life in battle. You need to believe that the effect multiplies when you pay it forward. Out chain of actions derive from a sensitive thought. A simple hello. And maybe a promising goodbye.